Is this that Swine Flu I've been hearing about?

Go figure the day I plan on getting started on my self development, I wind up dreadfully sick.

I don't know exactly what I have. It wasn't pleasant to move, and I ended up sleeping about 16 hours total. After doing so while sweating it all out, I feel much better, except for all of the stuff that I need to cough out all day today.

Since I didn't actually do anything today besides watch some top gear and continue recovering, I suppose I could talk about my goals as of now towards self development. A habit I have always had was thinking long term, thinking about the big picture of things. Some things this can be considered good, such as strategy games or even real life things such as what the higher ups worry about in the military. However, for an individual human being you can't be 100% big picture. It's neccessary to think of the small picture, otherwise going from what you are now to what you'd like to be seems hopeless if not impossible. So the first thing I need to do is take into consideration smaller things I'd like to improve on.

First off, I wouldn't say I'm an active youtuber, but I make videos every now and then. Some with my flip cam showing every day life, and some showing video game footage with commentary. It may not be entirely useful, or depending on the open mindedness of the reader maybe it is. It's something I enjoy doing, and not that I have many subscribers yet, but on the occasion that I get a comment or a rating, whether positive or negative, it means someone actually felt my video was meaningful enough to deserve some attention. So when I see someone comment, especially if they enjoy my work, it makes me feel like I actually make a difference, if at least to one person. It makes the hobby feel all the more passionate, and I plan to become more active with this hobby, keeping track of how often I do it and awarding myself points as an overall daily score of positive and negative things.

As far as health goes, I am not nor have I ever been overweight. I'm pretty sure it's not actually possible. I have however, been quite scrawny in appearance, the lacks of confidence throughout my life felt more visible as I was the skinny quiet kid standing there with a slouch throughout most of my life. I do have a military lifestyle though, even if it is only through the Reserves. I've begun to notice I don't have the same motivated feelings I used to when I first came home from boot camp. I came back actually fit instead of just thin. I even had slight detail to my abs. I've gotten lazier though especially during this past semester of school stress, so it's time to be healthy again. To start I need to exercise again, because I couldn't think of how long it's been since I last did so for myself instead of due to discipline. I'm not talking about going to a gym or running a triathlon, but at least to start a series of pushups and situps per day. I'm thinking 100 of each is a reasonable daily workout that I can pull off before going to sleep. And next up as much as exercise is a necessity to be healthy, so it what I eat. There had been points over the fall semester where I would eat nothing but tacos for an entire week because Taco Bell was right there. The junk food needs to be reduced. I can't do much about what I eat because I can't cook, but the very least I could do is put more fruits into my diet. I usually could live off just burgers and nothing more, so perhaps adding fruit into my system again will not only make me look healthier, but help me feel healthier as well.

Speaking of how I can't cook. Maybe it's time to learn. Spending as long as I have by myself, I've become very self sufficient through most of my life. So why can't I cook? That is one of the biggest things to being self sufficient. I often joke how I need to find a wife so I could have a good meal again, but really who knows when this wife will appear. I could be well into my 30s, I can't in good conscience allow myself to rot away anymore, it's time I learn for myself. I can't imagine I'd do well at first, or that I'd be preparing a fillet mignon, but I should at least start learning to make basic things to myself so I don't have to resort to a microwave my entire life.

I suppose that's enough ideas to list for now. I'm still a slight bit sick, so being up this late is taking a lot out of me. I think I'm going to meditate before I go to sleep, meditation being another goal of which I want to do more, so that I can feel more pure and healthy mentally as well as physically. I'm still attempting to find more smaller goals to keep track of, as well as some negative ideas such as fast food or alcohol to allow less of in my live. If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear. If I like them they'll even be put into practice. I'm looking at things with an open mind.