Socialization has never really been my "thing". However, with a best friend moving away I've broadened my horizons, and I find myself becoming more social. I sit at the Quick Check and people come and go. I've even started sitting there when no one else was there just to pass the time somewhere away from home. It almost feels weird to be social and talk to the people who hang around there.
I even met a few girls. Naturally, by talking about their existence, the universe sets me up for failure. One of them actually works at Quick Check. She has a boyfriend, a fireman in the national guard, I do get along with him, and I have morals that wouldn't let me do anything sneaky, but this girl is the one who's flirty with me, always steals my hat, calls me up to see if I want to keep her company when she gets on break. I'm not even trying yet the girl seems to have taken a liking to me, and vice versa. The only problem is that I feel uncomfortable about it due to her being in a relationship. If this girl happened to be single it would be better, but I don't want these people who are just starting to get to know me to label me with a reputation such as "that guy that tries to get with other people's girls". I already worry enough over my ex spreading that kind of reputation about me when it's not even true.
There is another girl I've met through these new people. Not the best looking girl, but I'd say her personality matches mine. I want to at least get to know her better and see if it could go anywhere, but she doesn't seem talkative to me, and I can't seem to get words out to her. The first girl things flow so naturally, I guess because she actually talks to me, where this girl does not. It sort of strays about in my head over the situation, the pros and cons of each, the posibility of either at all, and just wondering about everything while also taking note of this sudden paradigm shift in my social life. I don't really know what to think, the most basic way to explain my mind right now is where some may follow their heart and follow the one that's making you happy, I haven't used my heart in years, and all I have to go by is logic. Very rarely do logic and emotion match. And I'm left in contemplation while also feeling a little zoned out over it all happening so fast.
No comments:
Post a Comment